1. Why did the blonde guy take a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house.

2. Why did the blonde man sit on his TV?
He wanted to watch the couch.

3. Why did the blonde bring a car door into the desert?
So he could roll the window down if it got too hot.

4. Why did the blonde stare at the can of soda for hours?
It said “open here.”

5. Why did the blonde guy put his iPhone in the blender?
Because he wanted to make Apple juice.